I didn’t want to go.
Whenever I thought about traveling alone to Africa, I felt an overwhelming knot of anxiety deep in my stomach. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have to do it. That if the thought filled me with dread, I could simply let it go.
But that wasn’t the kind of life with God I had committed myself to.
I wanted to belong to Him completely, whatever the cost.
So I would return to the thought from time to time, only to discover the same thing every time: God was calling me there, and I was afraid.
I remember the darkness of my apartment and my eyes wide open. Nights when I would suddenly wake with the feeling that I was falling. As if there were no ground beneath my feet, wondering, Am I already in Mozambique? Is this forever?
I remember the terror. The feeling that my life was no longer under my control.
One night, I had a dream.
In the dream it was night, and I was asleep in a room somewhere in Mozambique. Suddenly several children burst in, trying to pull me out of bed, urging me to come and pray for someone with them. They couldn’t persuade me, so they ran out of the room, leaving me behind with one thought: I’m exhausted. I can’t get up.
Then I heard God’s voice:
“You have every right to rest. Night is for sleeping, and you are tired. You don’t have to go with them. But if you don’t, you won’t see Me at work.”
When I woke up that morning, I knew I was going.
Not because I had to.
Because I wanted to witness Him at work.
Because I loved Him.
With that decision came courage—freely given, entirely by His grace.
Nothing about my circumstances had changed overnight. I hadn’t suddenly become experienced in solo travel to another continent. A few thousand dollars hadn’t appeared in my bank account to cover the trip.
And yet the restless nights were gone.
What had once been nothing more than a note written in my calendar had become my conviction.
Ten years later, I have been living in Mozambique for nine years.
And I see that He is here with me.
God calls each of us in His own way.
To Abraham He simply said, “Go from your country… to the land I will show you.” Everything else had to be trust—with all its uncertainty. (Genesis 12:1–4)
Moses saw a bush that burned without being consumed and spoke with God Himself. Yet fear still made him look for ways to avoid the task God had given him. (Exodus 3:1–12)
Isaiah beheld the glory of God, before which everything he had ever known lost its importance. When God asked, “Whom shall I send?” Isaiah answered, “Here am I. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:1–8)
Paul was exactly the kind of person most people would have considered beyond hope. Yet God said, “This man is My chosen instrument to proclaim My name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel.” Within days of meeting Jesus, he was already preaching Him in the synagogues. (Acts 9)
God calls each of us in His own way.
Our part is to keep coming to Him.
To have hearts open to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
To pay attention to His words and to the circumstances He places us in.
The timing and the manner belong to Him.
He has a calling for you. (Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 139:16)
He will call you.
But to anyone sitting with folded hands, waiting for God to set another bush on fire, I would simply say:
There is so much work to do.
In the New Testament, God already reveals what every believer is called to.
First, to fellowship with Him (1 Corinthians 1:9).
To holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:7–8).
To peace (Colossians 3:15).
To freedom expressed in loving and serving others (Galatians 5:13).
To endure suffering for Christ (1 Peter 2:21).
To proclaim the Gospel (Matthew 28:19–20).
And so much more.
You are, too.
Called.
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