More often than I would like, I am afraid. Afraid for my children’s health. Afraid of who they will grow up to be, because I don’t always handle my own emotions well. Afraid for their safety in Mozambique. Afraid of how living at two ends of the world — as if only partly belonging to […]
God’s Word
I Like Being a Mom
I don’t particularly like children. I’m not the kind of person who comes over to someone’s house and immediately picks up their baby. It’s not in my nature to sit down with a bunch of preschoolers I don’t know and read them books. Little boys who deliberately mimicked me and seemed to take pleasure in […]
Slowly
Everything is done in a hurry. Even I shower in a hurry. Perhaps that habit began because I didn’t want a sleeping baby—always one of them, for the past six years—to wake up and cry for too long while I was in the bathroom. That’s why I feel such relief now that I’ve consciously begun […]
Right at the Beginning
While in Mozambique babies are still sometimes born in the bush or at home (without a midwife), it has taken me four weeks—and the help of several kind people—to prepare a place, tiny clothes, and what we believe we’ll need for our third little boy. And now I feel at peace. The hospital bag is […]
Not I
How tiring it is, what the world talks about today. I, I, I, and always I. My needs. How I feel. What I’m missing. How to take care of myself. A narrative. It’s easy to succumb to it. It’s easy to justify it. And it’s easy to desire it. Because, of course, it’s about me. […]
How good it is here
At first I felt relieved that I could drink tap water. And that it wouldn’t give me diarrhea. Or worms. Not to mention typhoid or cholera. Relief that I didn’t have to look for an open store with mineral water to drink at 11 p.m. Right after we entered my apartment in Gdansk, I turned […]
What do you usually think about?
I do not think about what could have happened. I think about what God has already provided. Options, ways out, scenarios – stories quickly form in our heads. It’s easy to follow your thoughts – first, second, third, etc., until you find yourself the same as the imaginations to which you have given your attention. […]
4/ Power of the cross and to love
Healed and whole after the death of my fiancé, I wanted nothing but God alone. I had the feeling that my whole life, which belonged to me, had burnt up inside me. Which I spun and built on a Christian basis. And that He has grown up in me now. Already without any other desires. […]
Take God at His Word
“You will have the year you believe in.” (You will have what you believe is yours. You will have what you take from the Word. What you believe in my Word, you will experience.) For many years now I have been used to asking God at the beginning of each year what this coming one […]