I didn’t want to go. Whenever I thought about traveling alone to Africa, I felt an overwhelming knot of anxiety deep in my stomach. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have to do it. That if the thought filled me with dread, I could simply let it go. But that wasn’t the kind of […]
God speaks
I am calmness
I am calmness. He poured a bottle of honey down the sink. I am calmness. He lay on top of his younger baby brother and then covered his head with a blanket. I am calmness. He put the block in the olive oil his older brother had poured on his plate. And the older brother […]
Analog
I’m a little afraid. I’ve been trying to understand that fear—to name it, define it, look for where it comes from instead of drowning it out with noise. I’m a little afraid to put my phone down and simply be present. That fear surprised me when I decided that tomorrow I’d leave my phone in […]
Place
I wrote about it in a letter at the end of 2023. Today I stand on the threshold of its door and understand more, though nothing yet. A place. The kind we dreamed of. The kind He dreamed of in me. Unprepared by our standards. With uneven walls and numerous holes. With scratched, dirty walls. […]
Walls
I made the decision that I would never love again. It seemed to me the wisest and safest solution at that time. And it didn’t just apply to a man. It applied to every possible commitment. I decided that I would never give my heart away again. I would not open it to anyone or […]
Another day in a village
I haven’t seen them in three months, and they are the same. Real. This is what I like best about meeting them. They are who they are. They bring with them matters they currently live with. They talk about them. And that’s not always the case here. More often not. It is thanks to the […]
Take God at His Word
“You will have the year you believe in.” (You will have what you believe is yours. You will have what you take from the Word. What you believe in my Word, you will experience.) For many years now I have been used to asking God at the beginning of each year what this coming one […]
Fear not
“Remove fear. I collected it through events and accidents. I cannot take it to Africa. I will not stay there in this state for one day. Remove fear and fill the empty space with joy.” As I wrote down these words of prayer in early July this year, I did not realize what path was […]
About a gaze that saves
It is hot and stuffy. I protect myself from the sun under a wooden shelter with a roof covered with grass – gazebo. And I am watching the birds. This is how I spend my time with Jesus. It’s 2016. I don’t know yet that in the coming hours God will recalibrate my heart and […]
Journey
I have a dream. To live somewhere for at least half an year, put my clothes in the wardrobe, storage my suitcases to the basement, buy something unnecessary that would take up too much space in my luggage. And that’s no problem, because we do not go anywhere. But it’s just a dream. In fact, […]